I’m having a dilemma.
I don’t know whether to get my hair cut.
There are more important things going on in the world, and my life, even, but this is still quite a big decision for me. In the summer of 2016 I cut off my lower-than-shoulder length hair to a pixie cut, and then didn’t get it cut again until late March. At that point it was full on mullet and I just didn’t do anything with it.
Since I had it cut into a lob (long-bob), I started to really hate it unless it was freshly washed. I’ve always had really greasy hair and in 2014 I swapped washing it every day for every other day (or longer if I could) and dry-shampoo for the off days. It kind-of worked for a while, but at the start of this year my scalp decided “Fuck this shit” and went full dandruff mode. I felt disgusting and ugly and ashamed and didn’t know what to do. I tried cleansing shampoos as I thought it could be build up of dry shampoo, but they didn’t do anything. Anti-dandruff was a route I didn’t want to venture down as I’ve had reactions to Head & Shoulders before and didn’t wish to experience fire-scalp again, but I thought T-Gel might be worth a go. I’ve now been using it for a few weeks and the ‘druff is mostly gone. I get a few bits creeping through now and then, but for the most part it’s good. I also stopped using aerosol dry shampoo and instead use my Lush dry shampoo (a powder formula) only when I really need to.
Now that my scalp is improving, I don’t know what to do about my hairstyle. Everyone tells me I look so much better with longer hair and I’ll admit it’s nice to just be able to walk out the door without doing anything to it, but it’s just so boring. All I do is have it down or clip it back on off-days and I don’t bother with curling or other styling as it takes so long and damages my hair. But whenever I say “yeah, Carly, let’s cut that mop off”, people are like “Oh but why? Long hair really suits you!” and then I get all insecure and wonder if they think I’m ugly with short hair, and whether I look like a boy from behind and just give in and keep it long. It’s actually pretty emotionally draining and it shouldn’t be. When my hair is short I take more care styling it, I feel like I stand out and look sophisticated, I feel like it enhances my features and isn’t just stuck on my head getting greasier with every woosh of wind. But getting it trimmed every 6 weeks to keep the style is an expensive undertaking and momma don’t have that kinda dosh.
So yeah. I don’t know what to do.
Come back in a weeks time and I’ll probably have a pixie cut again, cos fuck what people think about me – I think I look sexy with short hair and I’ll take whatever self-confidence I can get thank you very much.